The Question That Makes It Worse

I opened my computer today and saw where a news station in Austin, Texas ran a poll asking its viewers what they were most worried about with the incoming rain.

Why am I telling you this?

Because that poll reminded me how often we ask that same question, or other versions of it.

What am I most worried about?

Austin is a city that has buried neighbors, mourned losses, and watched floodwaters devastate whole communities. Just last year almost an entire girl’s camp was tragically washed away, taking the lives of over twenty-five people, both campers and counselors.

So, when rain was in the forecast, a poll that focused on worry was offered to viewers.

Can I be honest with you?

That question made me a little angry.

Because it seemed insensitive considering recent disasters.

Sometimes the questions we ask ourselves are insensitive as well.

We have been through disasters, too, and reminding ourselves we are safe is more productive than reminding ourselves to worry.

That poll simply did what so many of our own questions do.

It trained minds to scan the sky for danger before a single drop fell.

Here’s where I am going with this today…
The brain is not a passive receiver.
It’s an active filter.

There’s a part of your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS).
It’s like a search engine running in the background every single second.
It finds what you tell it to look for.
You decide to buy a red car, and suddenly red cars are everywhere.
You learn a new word, and you hear it three times that week.

It was always there.

Your brain just wasn’t looking.

Now flip that.
When we ask ourselves what we are most afraid of, we hand that question to the RAS.
And it gets to work.
It finds evidence. It surfaces memories.
It scans the horizon for confirmation that yes, danger is coming.

I’ve felt this in my own life.
I’ve woken up at 3am with worst-case scenarios running out of control in my mind.
And I know that asking about what all could go wrong doesn’t prepare you.
It exhausts you.

So, here’s a gentle challenge.
Not a silver-lining lecture, just a real question.

What if we asked something different?
Not what we are most afraid of, but what we know to be true right now.
Not all that could go wrong, but all I see that is right at this moment.

The question we ask most often is what we most often see.
And we get to choose the question.

I’d love to hear from you.

What’s a question you’ve been asking yourself that might be making things harder?
Share it in the comments or send me a message.

You’re not alone in this.

I am with you on the journey,
Brenda

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Brenda is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend who also enjoys speaking, writing, and coaching.