Open the Box

Brenda, you are a dichotomy.

I heard those words in my head as loud as if a voice beside me spoke them.
Startled, I checked the dictionary just to be sure I understood what it meant.

A dichotomy is the contrast that exists between two entirely different things.
Exactly what I thought it meant.

But…
That’s me???
I am the contrast that exists between two entirely different things?
What does that mean?

I have heard that voice before.
The one you don’t think up.
The one that just shows up in your head and speaks something that you weren’t thinking.
I listen, because God often speaks to me in a voice like that.
I don’t always embrace what I hear.
Sometimes that voice can be the enemy of God trying to lead me down a slippery slope.
Or off a cliff.

The point is… I don’t ignore it.
I explore it.
And ask God to give me wisdom.

So, after questioning whether that voice was telling me I was a hypocrite, double-minded, or a host of other negative things, I got quiet and asked God to show me.

I began to see my life unfolding, from early childhood forward.
I saw my early life of affluence.
At later times, near poverty (although I was too happy to know it at the time).
I saw the straight A honor roll student.
I saw the kid whose bad grades kept her out of extracurricular fun.
I saw the cheerleader…
And the new kid nobody talked to.
I know success and failure.
To be treasured and betrayed.
Respected and rejected.
All of them me.
Dichotomies.

And I started to understand the message.
A surprisingly positive one.

I have been gifted to see situations and people from many different perspectives.
I intuitively understand contrasting opinions. I have been both places. So, I understand most perspectives without having to agree with them.

I find that is hard for a lot of people.

These gifts have come from the places in my life I hated most.

What about you?
What circumstances, situations, and people have been wonderful?
What circumstances, situations, and people have been horrible?
What gifts have you received from both?

When we get honest about our lives and stop hiding the painful parts, beautiful gifts can be opened from the boxes we label “shame”.

We all have those boxes.
Your gifts inside are different than mine.
That’s why I need you.
And you need me.

Be real with yourself.
You are a dichotomy in your own way.
And you are beautiful.

Just open the box.

Brenda is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend who also enjoys speaking, writing, and coaching.