Love or Fear
It’s hard to imagine every thought coming from either fear or love.
That’s probably because we think of fear and love as being emotions.
Since we have so many emotions, why would fear and love be the mama and the papa?
But fear and love are much more than emotions.
They are the bedrock from which everything else in our soul – our thoughts, feelings, and desires – emerges.
For over a decade, research in the field of neuroscience has discovered fear and love to be the two roots from which all other thoughts grow. Every. Single. Thought.
The Bible talks about the love / fear connection, too.
In I John it talks about how love never brings fear because fear is always related to punishment, which is not of love.
Love doesn’t bring punishment.
Love drives fear away.
Love and fear.
Opposing roots.
Another interesting thing about fear and love is that they both have agendas and strategies.
Look at this…
Love’s agenda is to 1) stay connected, and 2) seek truth – even if pain is involved.
The strategy for love’s agenda is to ask questions, listen attentively, discern wisely, and deposit peace. This requires connection with self, God, and/or others. All for the purpose of establishing truth. Truth that sees things as they truly are. Not a right vs. wrong kind of truth, but a revelation kind of truth. The kind that lights up dark places so you can see what you couldn’t before.
Fear’s agenda is to keep us 1) disconnected and 2) out of pain.
When we feel threatened in any way, it only takes 1/10th of a second for our minds to be in that fight, flight, freeze, or appease state. And the strategy for fear’s agenda falls right in line. Those strategies would have us either shrink back (flight, freeze, or appease) or attack (fight). All of which are forms of disconnection. Disconnection with self, God, and/or others. All for the purpose of avoiding pain.
What’s so wrong with avoiding pain, you may ask.
Did you know that all trauma comes from unprocessed pain?
And unprocessed pain stays with us the rest of our lives?
It seems like an important endeavor to get rooted in love, desiring truth enough to process our pain so it can leave us.
Do you stay connected and desire truth even in times of difficulty or conflict?
If not, even when things around you are peaceful, you are likely shaky inside.
If you desire a life rooted in love, it starts with believing how much YOU are loved. By the God of the universe who loves you, designed you, and is your Father. There is no need to be fearful or feel a need to protect yourself when you are grounded in His love. (I am happy to talk to you more about this. Just reach out.)
But being rooted in love also requires connection to others in a deep and real way. One that chooses grace over offense.
Our political climate is one of fear. It breeds chaos in our communities, families, and even our own hearts at times. Showing love to those with whom you disagree can change that climate around you.
But what about your personal relationships? Your business relationships. Even your community relationships.
How can you connect in love at a level of grace that will transform your relationships?
The answers to that question could change the world…
If there were enough of us connecting that way.
Want to give it a try with me?
Brenda is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend who also enjoys speaking, writing, and coaching.