A herd of elephants elephants protecting a mother in birth.

Let’s Kick Up Some Dirt

I love elephants.

They are intelligent, highly sensitive, caring and extremely sociable, forming deep family bonds within a tight knit female community. These communities consist of a matriarch, other adult females, and several children and/or grandchildren.

Here’s what I love the most. When one of the herd is giving birth – or sick or distressed – the others in the herd encircle her, facing outward so they can watch for signs of danger, and kick up dirt over the birthing mama in order to hide the scent and keep predators away. This mama is unable to defend herself because the labor process requires all her focus. But she is kept safe in the center of the herd’s protection so that she can bring forth what is in her.

Having dirt kicked all over us isn’t what we normally consider a form of empathy, loyalty, and protection. But because it disguises the smell of birthing that can be picked up easily by predators, it is one of the most caring things female elephants do for one another.

I liken that herd to a great community of family and friends, male or female, who care about what we are carrying. People who will encircle us and watch for those things that would come and try to steal away what we are laboring to bring forth.

For me, I think of accountability as a form of kicking up dirt. When I choose to be accountable to the hard questions people ask to see how I am doing in the birthing process, I sometimes cough and sputter like I imagine that mama elephant does when she is on the ground having dirt kicked in her face. But I am grateful for the dirt. I am grateful for the birthing it protects. And I am grateful for friends who care enough about me and what is in me that they are willing to kick up some dirt.

In this season I am extremely grateful for those who have surrounded me in the birthing of the first book in the LINAL Series – Loud Is Not A Language®. It comes out July 27, and I would love for you to get in on the free workshop I am offering to all who preorder the e-book version before midnight on 7/26. It will show you what it looks like to be that person willing to kick up some dirt around people who may not even know what they are carrying.

What is one of the most effective forms of dirt kicking you have experienced? I would love to hear your stories!


I’m so excited to share that the eBook version of my latest book, Loud Is Not A Language: Blueprints for Building Healthy and Effective Communications, is available for pre-order!

If you’re ready to revolutionize your communication skills and transform your relationships, look no further than Loud Is Not A Language®. Our thought framework fosters emotionally safe environments, where differences are valued and constructive dialogue thrives. Say goodbye to the need to prove you’re right and embrace impactful interactions.

I’m offering a special gift for those who pre-order the eBook no later than midnight on 7-26-23: a Free seat at The C5 Workshop: Create Confident Constructive Conflict Capabilities.

Add August 24, 2023 from 10 am to noon CT to your calendar! A replay will be available!

Free workshop when you pre-order Loud Is Not a Language eBook!

If you have found yourself:

  • dancing around sensitive issues with people…
  • uncertain what to say and not to say around certain people…
  • frustrated that you can’t openly share your perspectives…
  • angry or confused over other people’s perspectives…

Then, this workshop will help you confidently and effectively step into those conversations while strengthening the relationships involved at the same time.

Be the first to experience the power of effective communication.

Find out more here: Loud Is Not a Language Book

Brenda is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend who also enjoys speaking, writing, and coaching.