A serene sunset over calm water representing peace that comes with forgiveness and resolution.

Is Reconciliation Always the Goal?

In a perfect world, all resolved conflicts would result in reconciled relationships.

But we don’t live in a perfect world.

In fact, we live in a world that is often quite emotionally unsafe. One where the most giving and forgiving people compromise to their own detriment. And can I just say… compromise is not reconciliation.

You can resolve a conflict without reconciling a relationship.

For real.

To resolve something is to come to a decision or settle an issue.

To reconcile is to bring into harmony or agreement or to restore.

We can settle an issue and still not be in a place of relational harmony or restoration.

Conflict resolution and relationship reconciliation are NOT the same thing.

Don’t be fooled into thinking they are always companions.

Having said that, though, I firmly believe the very best thing to do is both.

Resolve and reconcile.

When possible.

However, that is not always possible. And it is not wise to push for reconciliation that isn’t built on a foundation firm enough to be physically, emotionally, or spiritually safe. Remember the work of a perpetual offender is to shift blame, manipulate, and punish.

Forgiveness doesn’t always require reconciliation. But forgiveness is important.
The most powerful person in your life is the one you refuse to forgive.
They hold your emotions captive and keep your thoughts tied to pain.

Forgive for your own good.

And do all that is possible, where it depends on you, to restore relationship.

Where it’s not up to you, rest in the forgiveness that loosens the painful grip on your soul.

You were made for joy, dear one.