Be Faithful, Present, and Detach from the Outcome
Seems like an oxymoron.
How can you be both present and detached?
A year ago, I left a very special 3-day retreat committed to living out this new goal:
Be faithful and present right where your feet are and detach from the outcome.
It felt frightening at first.
Detach from the outcome?
What would happen to X,Y, and Z if I removed my attachment to what I thought should happen?
Did that mean I needed to stop having expectations?
Stop dreaming?
Not plan for retirement?
Expect no relational repair?
Freedom.
That’s not what I first thought would happen.
But it did.
Freedom from control.
Freedom from fear.
Greater trust in God’s goodness for a return He knew I needed.
A year later and I have not done it perfectly.
But I am doing it.
I am even now walking through a major life situation that has completely uncertain results.
But my trust has grown.
My fear has gone.
And I have peace.
Three action steps:
- Be faithful
- Be present
- Detach from the outcome
It didn’t feel “wise” when I first heard it. But fear often masquerades as wisdom and I came to realize that it was fear, not wisdom, that was having trouble detaching.
Let me clarify.
I am still dreaming, planning, working, and expecting.
The difference is that I am no longer doing those things with an attachment to how they play out.
I have relinquished any illusion of control and fully trust the outcome will be at least proportionate to my input.
Be Faithful
I am faithful to people.
Faithful to myself.
Faithful to God.
That means I am loyal, conscientious, and honest.
I will not do anything to mislead, deceive, or cause harm to others, but I will have their best interest in mind.
It means I will be true to my own convictions and beliefs and will not violate them.
And it means I will make time to listen, hear, and respond accordingly to God in every way I know how.
Be Present
I am present with people.
Present with myself.
Present with God.
That translates to an in-the-moment-awareness of others, myself, and God.
For the person in front of me, I am paying attention to what they are saying and how they seem to be feeling. I am not nodding my head, pretending to pay attention, while my thoughts are on the next thing I need to get to, the mess I left behind, or the latest headlines. I am with them.
For myself, I turn my attention to how I am doing.
What is my mental/emotional/spiritual/physical state?
Am I aware of it?
And when I am, how am I nurturing, affirming, or correcting whatever is needed?
For God, I ask where He is in all this.
What is He saying?
Am I watching?
Listening?
Responding accordingly?
Detach from the Outcome
When I live authentically faithful and present, I can then detach from the outcome and have a certainty that although I don’t know what the outcome will be… it will be good.
I can relinquish my desire to control the outcome.
I can cut the emotional tie that tells me I need a certain outcome.
Because my dreams, plans, work, and expectations will be fulfilled in proportion to my faithfulness and presence.
Input = Output.
You reap what you sow.
What goes around comes around.
Those sayings are true.
But when I have a box the size and shape that I believe the outcome needs to fit in, I am limiting the outcome.
After all, God is the only one who really knows what size and shape the blessing box needs to be.
Sometimes we miss His blessings because they don’t fit into the size and shape of box I have created.
What are your dreams?
Your plans?
Your expectations?
What are you working for?
A simple shift in focus… to be faithful to, present with, and detached from… can open you up to bigger blessings than you ever imagined.
It can free you to live with greater trust and less fear.
It may not be in the way you think.
It may not be with the people you think.
But the blessing will come.
And it will be exactly what you need.
Be faithful.
Be present.
Detach from the outcome.
What does this look like for you right now?
Enjoy the journey!
Brenda
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Brenda is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. She is a wife, mom, mimi, daughter, and friend who also enjoys speaking, writing, and coaching.